Saturday, February 9, 2013


   In an effort to help my young children understand the beauty of Christ and the gospel, I wrote this allegory:            


My Awful 5th Grade Experience!

                                           By Jeffrey D. Stark


                                                         
School was always difficult for me. But nothing compares to 5th grade. Can I tell you about the nightmare experience I had?

 It all started on the first day of school. All the students arrived in class, dressed in our new clothes and ready to see what the year would bring. We found our seats and waited for the teacher to arrive. We were hoping for a great 5th grade year. Then Mrs. Law showed up. She wasn’t mean exactly, but we knew right away she was going to be one tough teacher. Even as I look back, I realize that I never, ever remember Mrs. Law smiling.

 Mrs. Law walked in the classroom and, without even saying, “Hello, Class!” she put a list of rules on the wall over the chalkboard. She then explained the rules in great detail on that first and awful day. Here were the rules:

“Rule #1: There will be absolutely no talking bad to the teacher!


Rule #2: There will be absolutely no talking bad about the teacher to others!


Rule #3: There will be absolutely no looking bad at the teacher!


Rule #4: There will be absolutely no thinking bad things about the teacher!"

If you break any of these rules in the slightest way, you will be severely punished at the end of the year. If you want to be promoted to sixth grade, you must keep every one of these rules perfectly.”

 WHOA! This was going to be a tough year! Some kids began to complain right away about Mrs. Law and her rules. All Mrs. Law did was to point to the rules and write down the names of the students who had just complained. Other students began to cry quietly, hoping she would not notice, but of course she did notice (She noticed everything, I would come to learn!) and wrote down their names. The rest of us buckled down determined to try to get through the year keeping the rules.

 Before I tell you how things turned out (which will surely surprise you!) you should know a couple of other things about that class. First, as you can imagine, it was very hard to keep the rules. Every day we felt overwhelmed by what the rules demanded of our thoughts, words, behavior, and motives. We would have run out of that room if we had been allowed. But, second, to our surprise and great dismay, after that first day we discovered a policeman outside our classroom door to keep us from leaving! We were prisoners in our classroom, locked away every day with our tyrannical teacher. The policeman told us we could have our freedom if we kept the rules. But every time one of us moved towards the door, Mrs. Law or the policeman would go to Mrs. Law’s book, look up our name, see her list of all the ways we had broken the rules, and keep us locked up. 

 What a miserable, awful year it was! The rules were way beyond my ability to keep. Every time I looked at them (which was every hour of every day since they were posted right in front of me on the wall), something welled up inside of me, urging me to break them all. It seemed like just looking at the rules made me to want to break them! For example, when I saw the rule to not think anything bad about the teacher, my mind would automatically think all kinds of bad things about Mrs. Law! Trying not to break the rule only seemed to make matters worse! What was wrong with me?

Halfway through the school year, here is what I observed:  A few kids in the class seemed to think they were doing well keeping the rules—at least compared to the rest of the class. They were very critical and looked down on the rest of us. Another group of kids tried desperately to keep the rules but they knew they fell desperately short. Pretty soon, these students tried doing all kinds of extra projects to make up for their rule breaking. They would wash windows, sweep the floors, or help other students with their work. They seemed to find some relief in this, but it also seemed like they were always uneasy. After all, they didn’t know if they were doing enough to make up for the rules they broke. Another group of kids was so frustrated that they just started ignoring the rules. They started denying that the rules even existed. They became preoccupied with a lot of other things just to distract themselves from the rules. It was obvious that they were trying to hide from the obvious truth that they could not keep those rules. They wanted to hide from the fact that the end of the year was coming, when Mrs. Law’s book would be opened, revealing the bad news about all of us. And then would come the awful punishment we would all deserve.

 Midway through the year our classroom got a new teacher to work alongside Mrs. Law. Her name was Miss Tutor. She was a supervisor of sorts, helping Miss Law to keep us in line and teach us the rules. But it didn’t seem to help much.

 As the school year went on, things just seemed to get more and more hopeless. All my best efforts only seemed to show how far off the mark I truly was. Every time I thought about Mrs. Law, I was forced to think of her terrible laws. None of us could stop thinking about how hard she was on us. As we looked around, we knew that others were thinking the same thing, but then we knew in our hearts that we were breaking rules 1, 2, 3 and 4 for the 5 millionth time! A lot of us realized we were doomed, and we begged Mrs. Law for mercy and forgiveness. But she wouldn’t even discuss it. It just wasn’t in her! She was relentless in her demands for obedience and completely merciless and unforgiving!

Finally, toward the end of the winter, after countless efforts to keep the rules and failing every time, I gave up. It was hopeless. I was completely powerless to keep them.

 What happened next came as a complete surprise to me! Not long after I gave up trying to keep the rules, Miss Tutor took me aside and told me there was another way to gain my freedom and get promoted to the next grade. I was astonished. The thought of repeating fifth grade year after year after year was just about killing me.  Eagerly I asked Miss Tutor what I had to do to qualify for this “other way.” She said, “Can’t you see? There is nothing YOU can do to qualify. You cannot perfectly keep these rules. You have tried for nearly a whole year and you have completely failed. But I do know someone else who has kept the rules perfectly this whole time. He is the only one who can release you from the penalty of the rules and help you move to the next grade!” I told Miss Tutor I did not understand. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a little booklet that she said was a book about school procedures.  She said, “This book describes how you can win your freedom and move on to the next grade with a perfect record from this year.”

 “How can this be?” I asked Miss Tutor. “I still don’t understand.” I really wanted to hear about this “other way.” Just the thought of this possibility made my heart jump for joy. So Miss Tutor opened up the book and started reading. Here is what it said:

 “It is official school policy that there are only two ways a student can pass from one grade to the next. We repeat: there are only two ways! Any other way of trying to pass will automatically and most certainly end in failure with the student repeating the same grade over and over again.


“(1) The first way to get promoted to the next grade is for the student to obey each and every rule in an absolutely perfect way, all day and every day, throughout the entire school year. A single failure on a single day will mean failure for the year.  The student will be required to repeat the same grade the next year. The same rules will apply the next year as well.


 “(2) The second way to pass to the next grade is for a failing student to acquire a perfect rule-keeping record from another student’s perfect rule-keeping performance. The


requirements are as follows:


(a)    The perfect student must be a registered student in the school.


(b)   That perfect student must have kept the rules absolutely perfectly, from start to finish, each and every day, throughout the entire year. Absolute perfection in rule keeping, with absolutely no failures on any day throughout the entire school year, is an absolute requirement. There are no exceptions.


(c)    The perfect student must be willing to transfer his perfect record to another student.


(d)   The perfect student must also be willing to take upon himself the failing student’s record of failure.


(e)    That perfect student must, because of his new failed record, take the punishment for the failed record and repeat the grade.


 “If the imperfect student wants to trade records with the perfect student, he (or she) must agree to the following stipulations:


(a)    He must admit his own complete failure to keep the rules in any way whatsoever.


(b)   He must completely give up trying to keep the rules as the way to move to the next grade. We repeat: all attempts to move to the next grade by the student’s own efforts must completely and permanently cease.


(c)    This student must place his trust, faith, and confidence completely and solely in the perfect student and his performance. When he has done this, this student is guaranteed to pass to the next grade with a perfect “A” record (transferred to him from the perfect student) of performance (deed, attitude, and character) in all school requirements.”


My eyes must have been as big as saucers as I heard Miss Tutor explain this “other way” to me! THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY!! And it had nothing to do with what I could do at all! My heart pounded with excitement as I thought about moving to the next grade in a way that had NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with my poor, miserable attempts to keep the rules. Miss Tutor, I could see, was waiting patiently for me to take in all the good news before I got around to the question that had to come next: WHO WAS THIS PERFECT STUDENT??? I looked all around the class but I didn’t recognize anyone who might fit the “perfect” description. I was baffled, but I was still hopeful. Truthfully, I could hardly keep my excitement inside. I asked Miss Tutor, “Who is this perfect student you are talking about?” She turned and pointed to a classmate seated in the back of the class.  He did not stand out in any way. In fact, he was the kind of kid who didn’t stand out. There was nothing about him that would capture the average boy or girl’s attention. We all just thought of him as quiet and good. Sometimes we even made fun of him for being good. I had done it myself more than once. . . . And at that moment, suddenly it all made sense to me! I could get promoted to the next grade if I had HIS record and if he took on my miserable record of failure.

 The next question seemed to make my heart stand still: WOULD HE BE WILLING TO TRADE RECORDS WITH ME? Could anyone really be willing to love me that much? All of a sudden I realized I was crying as I walked in his direction. I didn’t care one bit what the other students might think of me. I looked and saw this student smiling at me as I made my way over to him. He already seemed to know I was coming to him and why. His face had a look of love and understanding. His eyes clearly said to me, “I am willing!” I fell at his feet, crying tears of joy and gratitude. My fifth grade nightmare was over!

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